I have a soft-spot for Jeff Thomas's ADORABLE cartoons.
They are just so freakin' cute!
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| Awwww <3 |
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| LOL. . . |
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| I love his colouring technique! |
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| OMG love. . . <3 |
Go see more of his artwork at http://azuzephre.deviantart.com/
Monday, December 5, 2011
Zoning Out
It's been pouring some much-needed rain since yesterday. I love it, except that the rain causes me to actually snooze super well usually causing me to over-sleep for work. :)
Oh well. . .
Rain makes me thoughtful and forces me to get side-tracked at the office ----<3
Oh well. . .
Rain makes me thoughtful and forces me to get side-tracked at the office ----<3
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| Go against the norm |
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| Live for the day |
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| This seriously got me teary-eyed </3 |
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| Story of my L I F E |
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| Haters gonna hate. I'm not a hater. . . |
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| Amen. |
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| Yes we are <3 |
Monday, November 28, 2011
Inspirations. . .
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| I'd give anything to be so naturally gorgeous as Audrey. . . |
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| Simply beautiful . . . |
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| You can keep Alessandra . . Miranda is so adorable |
It's refreshing to see a famous starlet not succumb to the evil of Hollywood . . .
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| True that<3 |
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| It may hurt like hell at times, but you get stronger once you understand this. |
Kunis will always be one of my biggest girl crushes -- I think more guys should find the girl-next-door personality to be sexier than body without brain.
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| Why don't more girls realise this? |
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| I just love her innocent look. . . |
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| I can relate to this so much -- friends who seem to find excuses never to be there. I know when you're busy and when you're a fucking liar and I don't need your ass in my life. |
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| The real reason I loved Superbad . . . and ZombieLand, and Easy-A. . . . |
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| Breathe |
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| Do not dwell in the past. . . it's behind you for a reason. |
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Even I get annoyed with a Bad Hair Day. . .
I actually woke up ON TIME this morning. I never do that LOL.
I had time to cook breakfast and eat without inhaling the food. And yea, I do cook myself breakfast everyday. I'm spoiled -- but if I don't then I get mean and grouchy. A complete bitch.
Though, despite the fact that I woke up on time today, my hair looks like a complete mess -- one of the very few things that annoy the shit out of me.
It should be easy enough to brush your hair and be cool. I didn't feel like pulling the shit up today -- BIG MISTAKE. It probably would have been the simple answer to my annoying problem.
Instead I'm at work looking like a hobo who just rolled out of bed.
And I didn't even do that THIS morning. WTF, dude?
This week is a confusing pile of crap, too. Thanksgiving is tomorrow (Happy Earlies, BTW), so I'm going to be cooking a mess of desserts tonight after my gym appointment(s). Irony???
Still trying to debate on what all I'm going to concoct. Brownies for sure, though I'm trying a new recipe so it may end in disaster. Sweet Carrot Cake Bars. . .what else?? I've got too much on my mind right now.
On top of the cooking and Thanksgiving itself, I have to map out my shopping plan for Black Friday.
Yea, I brave the crowds. Especially when there are a lot of good things going on this year.
My only problem is I want to buy a shit ton of stuff for myself. There is the most BA pair of boots on sale for 50% off at a fave spot -- W A N T.
The icing on the cake is a personal issue I'm having with a certain someone, one of which I can't quite explain due to my own confusion on the matter. Could be good, could be bad. . . . and I am honestly terribly afraid that it may be the latter.
BUT I am not a negative Nancy, so I'm keeping positive to see what goes down with the situation. Can't dwell on it forever, huh?
Besides all of my spilling, I hope anyone out there glancing over this has a Happy Holiday weekend -- Thank God this is the last day of work this week. I'm gonna need a long weekend.
<3
I had time to cook breakfast and eat without inhaling the food. And yea, I do cook myself breakfast everyday. I'm spoiled -- but if I don't then I get mean and grouchy. A complete bitch.
Though, despite the fact that I woke up on time today, my hair looks like a complete mess -- one of the very few things that annoy the shit out of me.
It should be easy enough to brush your hair and be cool. I didn't feel like pulling the shit up today -- BIG MISTAKE. It probably would have been the simple answer to my annoying problem.
Instead I'm at work looking like a hobo who just rolled out of bed.
And I didn't even do that THIS morning. WTF, dude?
This week is a confusing pile of crap, too. Thanksgiving is tomorrow (Happy Earlies, BTW), so I'm going to be cooking a mess of desserts tonight after my gym appointment(s). Irony???
Still trying to debate on what all I'm going to concoct. Brownies for sure, though I'm trying a new recipe so it may end in disaster. Sweet Carrot Cake Bars. . .what else?? I've got too much on my mind right now.
On top of the cooking and Thanksgiving itself, I have to map out my shopping plan for Black Friday.
Yea, I brave the crowds. Especially when there are a lot of good things going on this year.
My only problem is I want to buy a shit ton of stuff for myself. There is the most BA pair of boots on sale for 50% off at a fave spot -- W A N T.
The icing on the cake is a personal issue I'm having with a certain someone, one of which I can't quite explain due to my own confusion on the matter. Could be good, could be bad. . . . and I am honestly terribly afraid that it may be the latter.
BUT I am not a negative Nancy, so I'm keeping positive to see what goes down with the situation. Can't dwell on it forever, huh?
Besides all of my spilling, I hope anyone out there glancing over this has a Happy Holiday weekend -- Thank God this is the last day of work this week. I'm gonna need a long weekend.
<3
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Gyms, Germs, Eye-Candy
I recently got back into going to the gym - Thank God.
After I dropped my baby weight after High School and slimmed up in my University's Rec Center, I thought I'd be all good. That's until my Senior year of College when I started to get overwhelmed with the shit-ton of work and realization that I was fixing to be done with the mess for good and probably shouldn't slack as much anymore.
Thus came the period of "not-as-much-gym-attempt-to-devote-most-of-life-to-school-work".
It sucked. I was pigging out as usual but was only in the gym 1/3 of the time I was used to so it was only a matter of time before I started feeling gooey again.
It didn't help that about 2.5 months before graduation some fuck-wad decides to rear-end me while I'm at a dead stop waiting to turn down my road -- did I mention he was going like, 60mph??
I don't drive a truck anymore - I had to say "goodbye and I love you" to my baby The Avvy (avalanche) a couple years ago due to my commute to school and work. So now I drive a Yaris (a.k.a. a peanut).
Don't get me wrong, I love him.
But its not really cool when a Dodge Diesel with a big ass brush guard rams up your ass at 60mph when you're stopped and completely not expecting it. My little bitty car got thrown off the road and flipped twice leaving me in a ditch hanging upside down.
Whenever I think back to the state of shock that I was in I laugh -- just because of how fucked up and miraculous it was that I survived it. Without even being able to cry, I reached down, unbuckled the seat-belt, flipped back over, and pried my drivers-side door open, seeing as the passengers side was smashed to hell.
The look on the dumb-ass's face was memorable. It was the look of "Holy Shit you're not dead!?" -- or at least that's how I'm going to categorize it.
To sum it up, the only blood loss I had was the slight bleeding in my hand from window glass (thank The Lord cuz I woulda' vomited everywhere if it was anything more). My back, however, is still fucked though not nearly as bad thanks to my gorgeous chiropractor (who I don't mind visiting regularly at ALL).
The wreck just added to my lack of Gym devotion. My chiropractor told me I wasn't allowed to use heavy weights or strain myself for a while. So, until graduation, I took it easy and rarely set foot in it. I could feel the goo even better now. I'm pretty sure I gained a good 8-10 pounds over that half a year without working out. No wonder I looked pretty hideous in a swim-suit this past Summer. Sick.
At the beginning of October, I signed my fat soul over to a Boot Camp course at my local gym. Although I knew it would kill me, I desperately wanted to get back into some-sort of "shape". It was a 6-week long course, 3-days a week of a good, hour-long, varied work out. I'll tell you, the first week, I couldn't walk straight - I waddled. No lie.
It was intense, but that's what I needed.
At the end of the 6-weeks, I toned so much muscle that my weight didn't change, but I dropped 5 inches. I could definitely tell, too. I look pretty darn good in my jeans ;)
And now I'm back in the gym, luckily with some of my amigas as well. Apparently my loss has made me popular and I'm the wanted gym-buddy now -- which is definitely nice.
I won't lie, I get intimidated at the gym with all of that testosterone flying around everywhere. I hate being that lonely chick working out by herself, looking lost. Cardio is one thing, I can't talk too well when I'm unable to breath anyways. But in the man-zone, I need a buddy.
It also gives me the excuse to check out the boys when it's her turn on reps.
I do feel more educated in gym-rules though, seeing as my girls rarely ever worked out.
For instance, I can't help but wonder how many germs are crawling on gym equipment after a big, sweaty dude walks off and forgets to wipe it down.
1st rule of the Gym : Wipe it twice.
You can never grab enough gym wipes. I bathe the machines down with these babies, and tell the amigas to do the same.
I mean, I know I basically sweat like a boy already -- so they have to sweat all over shit more than I do.
Right?
Main gym goal - stay trim for my little sister's wedding.
Going on a month and a half and I'm MOH so I've gotta look some-what hot. We'll see how it goes with 4+-days/week workouts. Gotta love getting buff.
After I dropped my baby weight after High School and slimmed up in my University's Rec Center, I thought I'd be all good. That's until my Senior year of College when I started to get overwhelmed with the shit-ton of work and realization that I was fixing to be done with the mess for good and probably shouldn't slack as much anymore.
Thus came the period of "not-as-much-gym-attempt-to-devote-most-of-life-to-school-work".
It sucked. I was pigging out as usual but was only in the gym 1/3 of the time I was used to so it was only a matter of time before I started feeling gooey again.
It didn't help that about 2.5 months before graduation some fuck-wad decides to rear-end me while I'm at a dead stop waiting to turn down my road -- did I mention he was going like, 60mph??
I don't drive a truck anymore - I had to say "goodbye and I love you" to my baby The Avvy (avalanche) a couple years ago due to my commute to school and work. So now I drive a Yaris (a.k.a. a peanut).
Don't get me wrong, I love him.
But its not really cool when a Dodge Diesel with a big ass brush guard rams up your ass at 60mph when you're stopped and completely not expecting it. My little bitty car got thrown off the road and flipped twice leaving me in a ditch hanging upside down.
Whenever I think back to the state of shock that I was in I laugh -- just because of how fucked up and miraculous it was that I survived it. Without even being able to cry, I reached down, unbuckled the seat-belt, flipped back over, and pried my drivers-side door open, seeing as the passengers side was smashed to hell.
The look on the dumb-ass's face was memorable. It was the look of "Holy Shit you're not dead!?" -- or at least that's how I'm going to categorize it.
To sum it up, the only blood loss I had was the slight bleeding in my hand from window glass (thank The Lord cuz I woulda' vomited everywhere if it was anything more). My back, however, is still fucked though not nearly as bad thanks to my gorgeous chiropractor (who I don't mind visiting regularly at ALL).
The wreck just added to my lack of Gym devotion. My chiropractor told me I wasn't allowed to use heavy weights or strain myself for a while. So, until graduation, I took it easy and rarely set foot in it. I could feel the goo even better now. I'm pretty sure I gained a good 8-10 pounds over that half a year without working out. No wonder I looked pretty hideous in a swim-suit this past Summer. Sick.
At the beginning of October, I signed my fat soul over to a Boot Camp course at my local gym. Although I knew it would kill me, I desperately wanted to get back into some-sort of "shape". It was a 6-week long course, 3-days a week of a good, hour-long, varied work out. I'll tell you, the first week, I couldn't walk straight - I waddled. No lie.
It was intense, but that's what I needed.
At the end of the 6-weeks, I toned so much muscle that my weight didn't change, but I dropped 5 inches. I could definitely tell, too. I look pretty darn good in my jeans ;)
And now I'm back in the gym, luckily with some of my amigas as well. Apparently my loss has made me popular and I'm the wanted gym-buddy now -- which is definitely nice.
I won't lie, I get intimidated at the gym with all of that testosterone flying around everywhere. I hate being that lonely chick working out by herself, looking lost. Cardio is one thing, I can't talk too well when I'm unable to breath anyways. But in the man-zone, I need a buddy.
It also gives me the excuse to check out the boys when it's her turn on reps.
I do feel more educated in gym-rules though, seeing as my girls rarely ever worked out.
For instance, I can't help but wonder how many germs are crawling on gym equipment after a big, sweaty dude walks off and forgets to wipe it down.
1st rule of the Gym : Wipe it twice.
You can never grab enough gym wipes. I bathe the machines down with these babies, and tell the amigas to do the same.
I mean, I know I basically sweat like a boy already -- so they have to sweat all over shit more than I do.
Right?
Main gym goal - stay trim for my little sister's wedding.
Going on a month and a half and I'm MOH so I've gotta look some-what hot. We'll see how it goes with 4+-days/week workouts. Gotta love getting buff.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Foul Frogs
Guy, girl whoever. If you have any sense of humour, you'll find it rather entertaining.
Props to the creator.
I think that I have more of a dude-like sense of funnies, mainly because I can relate to quoting Will Ferrell movies and laughing my ass off at ridiculously dirty jokes (even though it makes me blush :/).
I'm far from the typical "girl", sorry about that.
But I have to say, there is a line between funny and kinda. . . well. Not funny?
To each his own, I suppose. Of course, I'm not talking about Foul Bachelor Frog, even if some of his quotes are well. . . a little out there.
Instead, I'm referring to the slightly embarrassing Foul Bachelorette Frog. (http://fckyeahbachelorettefrog.tumblr.com/)
Now, I won't go as far as saying it's completely revolting and not funny at all, because some of her posts do work up a little giggle or so (maybe). But come on, ladies. As much of a "not-girly-girl" as I am, you guys are just going way too far and should honestly be considered pigs.
Let me give you a little example :
This is as "G-rated" as I could post. . . I can't bring myself to copy anything about a chick's time-of-the-month and what a disgusting curse it is, since that's what half of this site is about. (vomit)
Like I said, to each his (or her) own -- if you wanna post your nasty habits on the net for other sickos to laugh about and compare, be my guest -- it's a free world.
I just hope to God any guys who read that page know that not ALL girls are like that. Maybe half of them are. . . maybe. You chicks are giving decent girls like me a bad rap, dude.
And just saying, any guy who would think a girl with armpit hair is attractive, needs to stay away from me.
I'll stick with Mr. Foul Frog for now, he's much more entertaining.
Laugh My Fucking Ass Off.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Boys and Bad News
I'll go ahead and admit that I haven't had a whole lot of experience when it comes to the opposite sex. I can count my "relationships" on half a hand and I'll admit 98% of them have been bad news.
It would have seemed that I'd get started at an early age, when it came to boys. I had my "first kiss" when I was 5 -- still remember it to this day. I felt like a damn rebel on that playground. When I was younger, I wasn't such a geek. I was super cute, all the guys in elementary school LOVED me to death. I wasn't ever without a valentine on Valentine's Day. When I lived in Illinois, BOTH of my neighbors "fought" over me -- it was awesome.
Stuff changed when I started "growing up". . . I got chubby and became a hermit throughout most of my Middle and High School years, mainly because I was extremely shy (moving around didn't help), super self-conscious about my weight, and always in the shadow of my "hotter" little sister (though I love her to death). Lame, I know, but I came out of my shell half-way through High School and was able to drop my baby weight once I got into college, gaining my confidence back and actually seeing that guys could be into me again. Now I'm the decently-cute girl that shocks guys when she kicks their asses in Call of Duty. (ok, ok I'm not THAT good.)
Yet, thus begins my Bad News Bears with boys. Let me remind you that I didn't have ANY kind of relationships in High School -- none, nada, nope. However, there are a few key points I'd like to share with anyone reading this who may just be interested in my own experiences -- or anyone who just wants to read my bitching.
**Red Flag #1 :
If the first "date" ends with your crush in handcuffs, more than likely there's NOT gonna be a future.
To the point, I don't care how drop-dead-sexy this guy is (or isn't lol), if he gets thrown out of a club and put in handcuffs because he's so drunk he knocked out a bouncer by mistake, just leave it. Seriously. "Chivalry" is one thing, but I've never really found it attractive for a guy to act all "big shit" and macho in front of me. Its just annoying, really. At least to me. As well, from my own experience, this guy will turn out to be a moderately-abusive alcoholic who you will later have no attraction to. 'Nuff said.
**Red Flag #2 :
If his car gets first dibs over you, get the fuck out.
Now I'm all about pretty cars, although I'm a complete sucker for a lifted, 4X4 truck on really big tires. (I'll tell you its the way to my heart lol) But when you find yourself picking up the tab on dinner and movie dates because all of HIS money is going to exhaust systems and cold-air intakes, it's just time to say bye-bye. I have no fucking idea how I put up with this in a relationship for 3 years, but I definitely did and I can tell you I'm a dumb ass for it. I'll have to say this was my longest relationship and I was wrapped around his finger through all of it, even after he broke my heart in two and left me on the curb because he thought he could find something better in one of his college classes. I'm not particularly anything super-special, but it was a big loss for him and I get a little amused at how much he realises that now.
**Red Flag #3:
If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.
Not meaning always, I'm sure. But if you're caught in a situation that you kinda wanna question, but leave it due to how awesome it is, try to go with your gut. Example : You're hanging out with friends at your usual restaurant hang-out and notice a really good-looking guy at the bar. You've seen him before but he's way out of your league (or you think he is anyways) so you wouldn't even think to go chat him up -- until you see he's chatting with a guy friend of yours anyways. Perfect, right? So you're all talking and things are cool, then your group leaves and goes one place and your guy friend and Mr. Hottie go somewhere else. If you're anything like me, you keep in touch with your buds when you know their gonna be drinking -- I always tell this guy to text me if he needs a ride home. So later that night your friend calls you and says he's gonna need a ride. It's all good, your group (since you all pooled together) head over to where he says he is to pick him up. Well whatcha know -- there's Mr. Hottie too! And while your friend is going to the car Mr. Hottie starts hitting on you hardcore. One thing leads to another, and suddenly your making out with one helluva good kisser. No complaints at all, right? Well that is until you go ahead and get back in your car feeling like you're on top of the world and your guy friend tells you he's married and has kids.
Shit.
**Red Flag #4:
If he acts like a fucking baby, kick him to the fucking curb.
I'm not being a bitch, I'm being serious. There is a HUGE difference between being sweet and sensitive, and being a complete titty baby. Case in point - Mr. Manager.
(Please mind me while I rip this guy from limb to limb -- yea, it's that bad.)
It was my own mistake, I'll tell you, to have an odd crush on my last manager. He really wasn't my type at all - the pretty boy, still-thinks-hes-a-jock type of guy. Whatever, I figured since he actually had a job and was older than me that he'd be what I was looking for, and I was planning on quitting anyways since my job was getting gayer than Justin Bieber. So it sorta worked out -- he actually "asked me out" the day I officially quit, so I was thinking SCORE. Guess you don't really see a person's true colours when you're working for them - a big red flag I ignored in the beginning was when he told me he'd be going with the guys to a bachelor party one weekend and that he'd probably be giving me a call once he was drunk. I have no problem with that, besides the fact I really don't like talking on the phone too much, but when he started texting me every fucking five minutes letting me know what they were all doing, it got kinda weird. It's like, dude, I don't need an update for everything-I don't even know you.
"Just got in the truck!" "Just pulled out of the driveway" "Got to the hotel!" "Just got my first girly-ass drink instead of the beer I should've ordered!" (yea. . . guys shouldn't drink pina coladas, I'm sorry).
The real problem was him calling me 5 fucking times that night instead of chilling with his guy friends. What kind of man sits in the bathroom of your hotel talking to a chick he JUST met instead of getting wasted and being a dude? You tell me.
Now, like I said, there is a difference between being sweet and caring and being a baby. I'd understand if this guy was my "boyfriend" but we weren't on that level. We were in the "chillin" phase, the "get-to-know" phase. Definitely NOT the call me when you're with the guys phase.
On the same note, I'm kind of a dude at heart, I'm the guy's girl. I don't like mushy, sappy, shit. I also need my space, I need to be by myself and make time to hang with my friends. I hadn't been talking to this guy for 2 weeks when he started forcing hanging out on me. He wanted to come over EVERY NIGHT after work. Not only do I have a REAL 8-5 job while he usually worked closing shifts, but I don't want you coming to my apartment smelling like a french fry either (at least say you'll take a damn shower?)
When I finally started telling him this (in a nice way, mind you) he'd get so butt hurt that I'd wanna shoot myself in the ear.
"WHAT? I can't come over? WHY? Why can't I come over? Even for 10 minutes? Please? Boo fucking hoo!"
Yea. I'm serious, dude. That's how this guy was. And if it makes it ANY better, this guy would pick The Notebook over Transformers for movie night. If you know me at all, you'd know how much of a turn-off that is to me. Not saying I hate chick flicks, but like I said, I'm not one for sappy crap. Two of my favourite movies are considered "chick flicks", but I like them because they are good movies, NOT SAPPY CLICHES. . . (50 First Dates and The Ugly Truth -- hell yea Gerard Butler ;))
When this guy's sister told me that he usually made her go check out movies for him because they were always chick flicks, it made me wanna vomit in my mouth. Gaaaaaayyy.
It was officially completely ridiculous when I had to break it off after our "lengthy" 3-week span of "hanging out". I wasn't missing out on anything of course, to top it all off he was a horrible kisser too, but apparently thought he was awesome. Uck.
After I tried to explain nicely that I just didn't feel like a relationship or anything more than friends would work, he didn't take the hint. Instead, he felt the need to write me a nice, long elementary school-style stalker message on Facebook. In this, he pretty much expressed his obsession with me and told me that even if I wasn't ready for a relationship right now he'd wait for me as long as it took, blah blah blah -- fucking creepy. I had no choice but to be blunt (mind you, as nicely blunt as I could be) and let him know there would never be anything in our future.
After the response he decided to go behind my back to friends of mine who still worked for him and tell them all I was a rude bitch, and therefore I deleted him from my FB. I wasn't surprised when the NEXT day after deletion he messaged me questioning the act and wondering why I'd done such a thing.
Dumb ass.
(**Small side note - I find it humorous that each of these "red flags" have gotten lengthier than the last lol, guess I was getting worked up. . .)
So there you have 4 very important notes to keep in mind, ladies.
You don't want an alcoholic, a guy who babies his car (a truck's a different story lol), a married man, or a fucking titty baby. This will more-than-likely guarantee you a future of complete misery!
Now, just to clarify so you guys don't think I'm a snobby bitch, I promise I'm honestly one of the nicest girls you'd ever meet - a genuine good girl. I suppose I'm just trying to give people a look at my mind-set when it comes to guys and how difficult it is to find the right one. It's a huge pain-in-the-ass, which is why I've been single for so damn long. Definitely is less-stressful though, just having to worry about yourself and not having to please anyone.
Maybe I'll find someone who I can't find so much to bitch about in the near or not-so-near future. If not, its cool - that's just more time for me to be a nerd without feeling guilty about it.
<3
It would have seemed that I'd get started at an early age, when it came to boys. I had my "first kiss" when I was 5 -- still remember it to this day. I felt like a damn rebel on that playground. When I was younger, I wasn't such a geek. I was super cute, all the guys in elementary school LOVED me to death. I wasn't ever without a valentine on Valentine's Day. When I lived in Illinois, BOTH of my neighbors "fought" over me -- it was awesome.
Stuff changed when I started "growing up". . . I got chubby and became a hermit throughout most of my Middle and High School years, mainly because I was extremely shy (moving around didn't help), super self-conscious about my weight, and always in the shadow of my "hotter" little sister (though I love her to death). Lame, I know, but I came out of my shell half-way through High School and was able to drop my baby weight once I got into college, gaining my confidence back and actually seeing that guys could be into me again. Now I'm the decently-cute girl that shocks guys when she kicks their asses in Call of Duty. (ok, ok I'm not THAT good.)
Yet, thus begins my Bad News Bears with boys. Let me remind you that I didn't have ANY kind of relationships in High School -- none, nada, nope. However, there are a few key points I'd like to share with anyone reading this who may just be interested in my own experiences -- or anyone who just wants to read my bitching.
**Red Flag #1 :
If the first "date" ends with your crush in handcuffs, more than likely there's NOT gonna be a future.
To the point, I don't care how drop-dead-sexy this guy is (or isn't lol), if he gets thrown out of a club and put in handcuffs because he's so drunk he knocked out a bouncer by mistake, just leave it. Seriously. "Chivalry" is one thing, but I've never really found it attractive for a guy to act all "big shit" and macho in front of me. Its just annoying, really. At least to me. As well, from my own experience, this guy will turn out to be a moderately-abusive alcoholic who you will later have no attraction to. 'Nuff said.
**Red Flag #2 :
If his car gets first dibs over you, get the fuck out.
Now I'm all about pretty cars, although I'm a complete sucker for a lifted, 4X4 truck on really big tires. (I'll tell you its the way to my heart lol) But when you find yourself picking up the tab on dinner and movie dates because all of HIS money is going to exhaust systems and cold-air intakes, it's just time to say bye-bye. I have no fucking idea how I put up with this in a relationship for 3 years, but I definitely did and I can tell you I'm a dumb ass for it. I'll have to say this was my longest relationship and I was wrapped around his finger through all of it, even after he broke my heart in two and left me on the curb because he thought he could find something better in one of his college classes. I'm not particularly anything super-special, but it was a big loss for him and I get a little amused at how much he realises that now.
**Red Flag #3:
If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.
Not meaning always, I'm sure. But if you're caught in a situation that you kinda wanna question, but leave it due to how awesome it is, try to go with your gut. Example : You're hanging out with friends at your usual restaurant hang-out and notice a really good-looking guy at the bar. You've seen him before but he's way out of your league (or you think he is anyways) so you wouldn't even think to go chat him up -- until you see he's chatting with a guy friend of yours anyways. Perfect, right? So you're all talking and things are cool, then your group leaves and goes one place and your guy friend and Mr. Hottie go somewhere else. If you're anything like me, you keep in touch with your buds when you know their gonna be drinking -- I always tell this guy to text me if he needs a ride home. So later that night your friend calls you and says he's gonna need a ride. It's all good, your group (since you all pooled together) head over to where he says he is to pick him up. Well whatcha know -- there's Mr. Hottie too! And while your friend is going to the car Mr. Hottie starts hitting on you hardcore. One thing leads to another, and suddenly your making out with one helluva good kisser. No complaints at all, right? Well that is until you go ahead and get back in your car feeling like you're on top of the world and your guy friend tells you he's married and has kids.
Shit.
**Red Flag #4:
If he acts like a fucking baby, kick him to the fucking curb.
I'm not being a bitch, I'm being serious. There is a HUGE difference between being sweet and sensitive, and being a complete titty baby. Case in point - Mr. Manager.
(Please mind me while I rip this guy from limb to limb -- yea, it's that bad.)
It was my own mistake, I'll tell you, to have an odd crush on my last manager. He really wasn't my type at all - the pretty boy, still-thinks-hes-a-jock type of guy. Whatever, I figured since he actually had a job and was older than me that he'd be what I was looking for, and I was planning on quitting anyways since my job was getting gayer than Justin Bieber. So it sorta worked out -- he actually "asked me out" the day I officially quit, so I was thinking SCORE. Guess you don't really see a person's true colours when you're working for them - a big red flag I ignored in the beginning was when he told me he'd be going with the guys to a bachelor party one weekend and that he'd probably be giving me a call once he was drunk. I have no problem with that, besides the fact I really don't like talking on the phone too much, but when he started texting me every fucking five minutes letting me know what they were all doing, it got kinda weird. It's like, dude, I don't need an update for everything-I don't even know you.
"Just got in the truck!" "Just pulled out of the driveway" "Got to the hotel!" "Just got my first girly-ass drink instead of the beer I should've ordered!" (yea. . . guys shouldn't drink pina coladas, I'm sorry).
The real problem was him calling me 5 fucking times that night instead of chilling with his guy friends. What kind of man sits in the bathroom of your hotel talking to a chick he JUST met instead of getting wasted and being a dude? You tell me.
Now, like I said, there is a difference between being sweet and caring and being a baby. I'd understand if this guy was my "boyfriend" but we weren't on that level. We were in the "chillin" phase, the "get-to-know" phase. Definitely NOT the call me when you're with the guys phase.
On the same note, I'm kind of a dude at heart, I'm the guy's girl. I don't like mushy, sappy, shit. I also need my space, I need to be by myself and make time to hang with my friends. I hadn't been talking to this guy for 2 weeks when he started forcing hanging out on me. He wanted to come over EVERY NIGHT after work. Not only do I have a REAL 8-5 job while he usually worked closing shifts, but I don't want you coming to my apartment smelling like a french fry either (at least say you'll take a damn shower?)
When I finally started telling him this (in a nice way, mind you) he'd get so butt hurt that I'd wanna shoot myself in the ear.
"WHAT? I can't come over? WHY? Why can't I come over? Even for 10 minutes? Please? Boo fucking hoo!"
Yea. I'm serious, dude. That's how this guy was. And if it makes it ANY better, this guy would pick The Notebook over Transformers for movie night. If you know me at all, you'd know how much of a turn-off that is to me. Not saying I hate chick flicks, but like I said, I'm not one for sappy crap. Two of my favourite movies are considered "chick flicks", but I like them because they are good movies, NOT SAPPY CLICHES. . . (50 First Dates and The Ugly Truth -- hell yea Gerard Butler ;))
When this guy's sister told me that he usually made her go check out movies for him because they were always chick flicks, it made me wanna vomit in my mouth. Gaaaaaayyy.
It was officially completely ridiculous when I had to break it off after our "lengthy" 3-week span of "hanging out". I wasn't missing out on anything of course, to top it all off he was a horrible kisser too, but apparently thought he was awesome. Uck.
After I tried to explain nicely that I just didn't feel like a relationship or anything more than friends would work, he didn't take the hint. Instead, he felt the need to write me a nice, long elementary school-style stalker message on Facebook. In this, he pretty much expressed his obsession with me and told me that even if I wasn't ready for a relationship right now he'd wait for me as long as it took, blah blah blah -- fucking creepy. I had no choice but to be blunt (mind you, as nicely blunt as I could be) and let him know there would never be anything in our future.
After the response he decided to go behind my back to friends of mine who still worked for him and tell them all I was a rude bitch, and therefore I deleted him from my FB. I wasn't surprised when the NEXT day after deletion he messaged me questioning the act and wondering why I'd done such a thing.
Dumb ass.
(**Small side note - I find it humorous that each of these "red flags" have gotten lengthier than the last lol, guess I was getting worked up. . .)
So there you have 4 very important notes to keep in mind, ladies.
You don't want an alcoholic, a guy who babies his car (a truck's a different story lol), a married man, or a fucking titty baby. This will more-than-likely guarantee you a future of complete misery!
Now, just to clarify so you guys don't think I'm a snobby bitch, I promise I'm honestly one of the nicest girls you'd ever meet - a genuine good girl. I suppose I'm just trying to give people a look at my mind-set when it comes to guys and how difficult it is to find the right one. It's a huge pain-in-the-ass, which is why I've been single for so damn long. Definitely is less-stressful though, just having to worry about yourself and not having to please anyone.
Maybe I'll find someone who I can't find so much to bitch about in the near or not-so-near future. If not, its cool - that's just more time for me to be a nerd without feeling guilty about it.
<3
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